Still M. I. A.

08/08/2024, 1:32am - STATUS: living my best [steam powered] life

Hi, still not really in the mood to write right now, but I wanted to show some the stuff that's been brewing in my mind the past few days. Heres my halloween plans, and a possible site revamp idea ! I've REALLY swung full into steampunk and I dont get the same kick off looking at the site as it is atm. Obviously I still love lolita, but I've always been inclined to the victorian and steampunk. I wish there was more overlap between the fashions!! Steampunk is so overlooked and half the time MOCKED ! even in alternative fashion spaces. Everyone sees it as the cringe younger sibling that died in 2013. One day I'll debut a dashing gear adorned, goggle topped lolita look and everyone will go wild and shout 'IM SORRY! WE'RE SORRY !! STEAMPUNK IS COOL AND NOT A WORSE VERSION OF REN FAIRE COSTUME !!!'



........ I love you, Steam Powered Giraffe - Album One and The Mechanisms - Once Upon a Time (In Space)...

Catching up on mundanities [or not]

05/08/2024, 1:16pm - STATUS: listless

Hello! Right now, I am, of course, listening to Hawaii part II. It always helps to make me feel a bit more in the moment. You would find it difficult to be aimless while surrounded with such emotional voice. This is mostly just a recount of my week - nothing particularily interesting has happened but I've reached the stage of summer break where I'd kill for just a change of scenery, and its not like I've got anything better to do. My friend came over earlier in the week so we could watch 'Lisa Frankenstein', which I absoulutely ADORED. It was just fun to watch in the same way 'The Breakfast Club' or 'Empire Records' is, but even more visually entertaining. You could colour pick the pallete of a candy package from any frame in that movie. Sorry ugh I dont want to keep writing I'm sick of EVERYTHING I'm so BORED I'll come back to this later but for now I'm going to go read my book which I could in theory talk about but really truly do not feel like doing at the moment. groan. I just want to update the site because NORMALLY I'd find writing an entry soothing or entertaining but it just seems a chore today. ssiiiigh. I'll see you later. book's 'The Luminous Dead'. its great. go read it. jumps out window.

starting the day off strong

30/07/2024, 1:59am - STATUS: ⻌⤹⟻ⶻ⻩▙⦗⌫⦽⨜⇍⡅␾

I NEED A GIRLFRIEND NOWWWWWWWWW..... NOWWWWWWWWWWWW !!!!!!!!!!!! I NEED A GIRLFRIEND NOW!!!!

almost autumn !

29/07/2024 5:57pm- STATUS: cute!

Hello !!! today, ive been lounging about. its sprinkling and veeerrry nice temperature - its got me hyped [in the most laid back way possible] for the fall season. i always love the cozyness of it, it makes me feel like im still in elementary, excited to show off my halloween costume and try one of those pumpkin spice drinks for the first time, or like im sat in my backyard under the tree gathering leaves and rose petals to make a 'jar of friendship' with the girl down the road. im trying to plan my halloween costume now. i want to do a zombie or frankensteins monster sort of thing, but hopefully make it more special by having it be lolita or victorian. MAYBE I COULD DO A LIVING DOLL! i could make it look like a bit of my skin has torn open and stuffing is spilling out. ohoehoehoeieho. i like this idea.... im going to draw up some concepts later. im feeling very girly and cute today despite the fact im dressed in an XL wallace and gromit shirt and baggy jeans- like a little pumpkin fairy. im looking at 'flower knows' makeup and longing. it is sooo expensive but looks dropped straight from marie antoinettes purse; id love all the colours of the french rococo period as a eyeshadow pallete. my favourite thing i saw in the musuems in new york was the old french furniture, OHHHH.... the pastel pinks and corals and aquas.... the petite little porcelain animals and gilded white wardobes... absolutely divine..

ive started listening to the podcast 'Welcome to Nightvale' and it is so. weird. i genuinely have no clue what its about and only started listening to it because some kid at my school has a keychain of the cover art. every time i click play its just 20 minutes of this random guy giving me the most riduculous news and statements you can imaging. like, 'oh, and our sponsor for today has asked us to give the following message' followed by 50 seconds of ceaseless wailing and moaning by the announcer. i kind of love it, but i have no idea how im going to get through 200+ episodes of it. NOW im mainly listening to it because i really want to read this book written by the author of the show, but apparently its hits better if youve listened to show. the book is called 'You Feel It Just Below The Ribs' - 'A haunting, provocative novel, You Feel It Just Below the Ribs is a fictional autobiography in an alternate twentieth century that chronicles one woman’s unusual life, including the price she pays to survive and the cost her choices hold for the society she is trying to save.' it sounds very interesting and right up my alley so if full investing myself means listening to a LOT of strange news shows, im more than willing to undertake that. yesterday i did something practice colouring in a different style than normal while listening to it [see left]

7:41pm sigh... i really want a pair of victorian button boots. i REALLY, REALLY want a pair of victorian button boots. theres a shop on etsy called 'JOBEARBOOTS' that makes some amazing shoes but theyre SOOO EXPENSIVE... not a critisism, just a woe of mine... i would also love to have a pair of American Duchess 'Renoir' boots, but i dont like how loose they are around the calf. the scallop edge is adorable though.

saturday, again

27/07/2024 3:38pm - STATUS: kinda bored

i think everyone should listen to alexisonfire's self titled album. its probably been nearly a year [or two ? cant remember] since i first listened to it and it will never not make me emotional. NO ONE does those melodic, overlapping guitars the same as this album. everyday i search for more music able to hit every mark in the same way it does ; the heavy, chugging guitars and screams that overlap or abruptly stop to give way to melodic playing, quick and light symbols and emotional singing before dropping out entirely to come back full force with it all combined. somehow perfect for both scenarios of being pathetic and sopping in bed at night AND getting pumped hanging out the window of a fast car at sundown. i cannot emphasize how much this album means to me. it has all the melancholy of looking back on happy memories made with people you stopped caring about and making new ones while being aware the moment is just as fleeting and in an hour youll have to look back to experience those feelings again. please listen to this album. PLEASE.



i woke up too late in the day today and now it feels like its already over though ive just woken up. i hate when this happens. it feels like the day never even happened and its a whole day of my life cut out and unremembered. sometimes working on the site can help with this feeling because then it feels like ive accomplished something, but if i think my entry is lacklustre it just makes it worse. hopefully when i lay down tonight [at a more reasonal time i really, REALLY, hope]i wont feel like ive wasted away. when i was brushing my teeth earlier i weighed myself and ive gained like 3 pounds, probably because of all the junk my grandparents have been feeding me and the crazy eating habits i took on in england. i will talk about that, by the way!! i do have lots to say, i just havent felt in the mood to talk about it. im always like that - i hate talking about my favourite things that ive experienced. i really dont know why. its just like, i went, i felt all the emotions, i made all the memories, and the way id tell the story would never be able to convey the feeling of how it all felt; i can tell you how much i loved the british museum, but you wouldnt feel the same way i felt in that building while hearing my story, and so the experience is fundamentally different in your mind than it is in mine. its like im keeping the memories pristine and untained by others ideas. people usually get really annoyed with me for this - i feel bad because i barely spoke to my father about new york even though it was one of the best experiences of my life. i dont think ill change, but i will try. ill at least put the photos from the trip up, but theres just a few, because im the same about photos. i never bother because i want to feel everything in the moment and dont want to break the immersion by taking my phone out - normally i just rely on my mum or friends to go paparazzi mode. for england though, i took a little disposable fujifilm with me so i had a roll of 28. unfortunately, something happened and only 7 out of 28 photos came out :(... i was really upset about it. i took so many photos of trinty college but not a single image of the library came out. same with london at night. but of course, the photo of the PLANE WING came out just fine. tsch.

4:20pm please.. me and my bff GF

late night fiddling

27/07/2024 1:36am - STATUS: mundane

Hey o! Did a bunch of messing around today with the site and im SO PLEASED !! If I wanted to I could pass it off for fininshed at this point I think. But i think the next step will be to add an advice and tutorials page? I want to share all these random tidbits of knowledge I have so I think it'd be good to put them all in one place. Can you tell I've been trying to watch my punctuation and grammar?? It's because im trying to get back into the groove of speaking my native and only language properly so I'll stop punching in so many typos on instinct at the museum - the archives have been good; I REALLY enjoy the consistant data entry, much more than I thought I would. It's so funny to think back to when I was just about to start and couldn't stop thinking "shit I made the wrong descision im going to find this SOOO boring". lo and behold. As much as I like it I am having a lot of trouble with a lot of anxiety in the day leading up to it though and it's really killing me. Everytime im in that building, it's like you can FEEL the silence and that any little thing I do will draw attention, yet im worried I should be saying something to fill the quiet. That's what I really dread- the speaking. It's not that i don't like everyone, I find them all very friendly and i think Matt (not a real name) is very funny, but i just DONT KNOW how much or WHEN your supposed to speak to people at your job. When I walk in the door, should I linger at the desk and chat for second? Should I continue conversation after I've sat down?? Is it okay to suddenly spark discussion after an hour of silence??? How professional am i supposed to be - should i maintain a proper way of speaking and hold back on the jokes so i dont seem immature, or is it just going to make me seem stuck up and dull?? Someone please make me a comprehensive guide and email it to me please. I typically have to plan out what im going to say and come up with a bunch of different responses depending on what he says back, and then a follow up action to take otherwise i wont know what to say at all, and would probobly wind up shouting 'HI MATT' and beelining for my desk to sit down and throw up on my feet. But WHO KNOWS. maybe its okay to just say hello and then go silent - its not like i know anything. I think if i was in a high ranking position such as the head archivist where i could have my own office and i wouldnt have to worry about my body language, or wether i should be talking to someone id find it to be my dream job. ARGH. I have given up on my punctuating as you can see.

I nerfed the little mamegoma from the entry titles. It was cute but it messed with the formatting a bit and it just didnt look right.. it made it look less cohesive in a way? like when someone throws a bunch of different stuff together to make a carrd but clearly theyve just tossed every interest they have in without any effort to have a theme or colour pallete going. not that theres anything wrong with that, not everything has to be full effort, but its not what im going for. in lieu though, I added a cute little madoka pagedoll as a stand in! i always feel bad because i plaster my blog and social medias with madoka even if i dont like her THAT much. Dont get me wrong, i love madoka magica, but its rarely something i find myself discussing or thinking about. i love the character designs more than anything, i think. they are excellent, but im still a bit worried having it makes me look like too much of a fanpage, or that my blog is pink and cute because its themed around her. im hopeing ill be able to swap it for a lolita one soon.

yesterday i went over to a friends house so our group could gather before we went out. we went to see monty python's spamalot, AGAIN. When we were in new york earlier this year it was one of the shows we went to see and, while i thought it was a bit millenial for my tastes at the time, i've grown to love it for the memories. the production put on by the local group was about what youd expect: ..alright in terms of quality, but entertaining none the less. the guy who played lancelot was PERFECT though; absolutely made for the role. he had the energy of the worst bard you know.

Guess I should make this a proper entry

24/07/2024 12:18am - STATUS: breaking it down

Back at the house now. Slow transition of the music genres over the night has been such - 2000s pop, to 90s grunge, to, inevitably, my dance playlist. god. Why was I born in a nation known for it's country music and not it's techno. Currently listening to 'The Escape' by Cocooma go check it out. Keeping me fueled to live whilst I make small tweaks to the site. So incredibly strange to think back on a time when I was like 9 years old listening to 'All I Ever Wanted' by Basshunter put on by my older cousin so we could do epic scooter tricks. FML for being BORN in 2008 and not 17 years old and raving.

At my grandmas house !

23/07/2024 12:39pm - STATUS: content

Hello !! I haven't updated the site in a couple days because I've been staying at my grandmas house. That's pretty typical for me except I left it in a semi unusable state just because I had other things I was more interested in, so I apologize if you couldnt access or use it for a while. I'll probably do some more work tonight and flesh out what I've been doing the past couple days more if I dont give any more details in this entry. Right now im drinking a mango smoothie and later we're gonna make rice pudding. For breakfast I had hashbrowns, egg, and sausage.

12:07am i love you so much billie piper .....

12:11am KERNKRAFT 400 THE CHILDREN YEARN FOR DANCE MUSIC

12:16amTHIS IS TRICKY - TRICKY DISCO - THIS IS DISCOTRONIC

Metamorphose Nurse Set!!

21/07/2024 12:20am- STATUS: FLAPPING HANDS & SCREAMING !

OHHHH MY GOOOOOODDDD... I CAN BARELY CONTAIN MY EXCITEMENT... Metamorphose has released ANOTHER NURSED THEMED SET AHHH!!!! I have yet to mention it on here, but if you've checked my egl tumblr then you know how absolutely OBSESSED I am with Metamorphose 'Hospitality Doll' line. It's an extremely rare and sought after collection from 2003 that has never been re-released. Metamorphose has done a few other nurse sets in the past but none have been able to measure up with hospitality doll.. UNTIL NOW! I wont say I love it more than HD, but I certainly love it as much, which is a very big declaration from me. The HD set in the black/pink colourway is my most second more sought after piece[s] in lolita, after Innocent World's 'Rococo Tulle OP' - If I was able to afford it I would easily pay nearly 600$ to have the complete set. Bwawawawa okay enough about me gushing about hospitality doll, more oozing about Little Nurse !!! I LOVE the baby pink colourway. If i was able to afford it - and I will try to find some way I can - then it would be my prefered style, but im also a big fan of the typical nurse red/white color scheme too. Even outside its place in the set, I really love the look of the long sleeved blouse and would be pleased to own that on its own. Buttons are always my weakness. If I was to coord it I'd like to wear the full pink set, matching pink nurses cap, heartbeat hairclips, corkscrew curls, zombie stitch stockings, a zombie stitch necklace, white mary-janes, and little syringe earrings. I CAN'T DO THIS !! I'M TEASING MYSELF !! I CANT SPEND 530$ ON A DRESS !!! SOMEBODY TAKE ME OUT WITH A SNIPER RIFLE NOW !!!!!!

2:20am This melatonin isn't doing SHIT ... added a mamegoma gif to the entriy titles... sigh ...

wasting away at this site! AND FOR WHAT !

20/07/2024 4:01pm - STATUS: back hurts.

Good lord look at the time !!!! I've spent nearly my entire day sat here at my laptop trying to implement a damn MUSIC PLAYER !!! AND ITS NOT EVEN POSSIBLE, APPARENTLY! Neocities sure knows how to tempt you to pay that 5$ fee for premium.... I suppose you'll just have to do with the ambiance of your thoughts [and mine] and the whirring buzz of computer fans. Peaceful enough. I did however steal some random Javascript code off a website so now I've got a little drop down button at the top with info on how to search! It's quite rudimentary, but I feel at least a little more accomplished having it. Maybe one day I'll get around to learning Java but it's just SO daunting I wouldn't even know where to begin. I was looking at some other peoples sites and I like the look of a lace border a bunch of EGL bloggers have, so maybe that's what I'll attempt tommorow. Actually, I should just to list some goals for the site right here so i can see how much I've got to do. Here --- Gothic font for the header, doily behind the main page, lace borders on content, pagedoll, gifs on either side of content, welcome/landing page, and a wardrobe/gallery page --- quite a large arrary of things, but at least I have a reference point now? I'll be dead by the time this place is finished. Since I spent so much of my time toiling away at my desk it's now dinner, so off I go to eat a delicious plate of like 3000 calories worth of potatos. Absolutely unreal food - there is truly no more scrumptious, more mouthwatering a meal than lemon herb and garlic potatos. I'll probobly add more to the entry later if my keyboard hasnt become waterlogged with drool. Bye bye! ♥

back from tofino ! / steampunkish girlfriends

18/07/2024 12:51am - STATUS: sleepy

hello !!! im back from my trip !!!! i had a very nice time in tofino and it was wonderfully foggy. i spent a great deal of time just wandering up and down the beachs as per usual. i would have liked to be able to swim more but my eczema is too bad right now and it was honestly really painful to be in the water. as it happened, i was at episode MAG154 in my magnus archives relisten, i could not resist the absolute perfect enviroment i was in for listening. i started listening just as the sun began to set and the fog began to creep in, so that by the time i had progressed to MAG158&MAG159 it was blue hour, and the fog bank had fully settled overtop. it was, of course, freezing - but i suppose that just immersed me even further into the setting of the show. as the words 'look at the sky, martin... its looking back' were said, i felt i was looking at the same because at this point everything had become fully enshrouded in cloud, and the moon appeared as a black dot in the center of the glowing light it cast around it. in summary, it was very atmospheric and i had a fantastically miserable time relistening. i dont know if i felt the same level of despairity as when i first heard it, but i was on a long haul flight sat uncomfortably under flourescent lightings so it at least beat it for actual scenery. speaking of it from a not-totally-insufferable, geeked out 'snrgk - this is just like the magnus archives *pushes glasses up nose*' point of view, its a very beautiful place and i wouldve enjoyed the walk equally as much without having the show going. it always makes me feel very melancholic to be there, since its so beautiful yet so dreary and isolated. or perhaps its part of its beauty is in how alone it makes you feel, but theres probobly some sort of poetic flourished prose way to give that angle to make you understand what i mean better, but i am NOT versed in that and wont start trying today. hopefully you can figure out your own poetics from the photos. it is more than being the perfect place to wallow in the afternoons, though; i always enjoy waiting for the tide to go out so i can run around the tide pool and exposed rocks to see the starfish, but i didnt really get a chance to this time. no new sand dollars either. some cool snail shells though.

[im going to try and watch my spelling and punctuation in this bit more. i may give up halfway or earlier]

My most recent obsession [more of a lurking facination throughout my life] is steampunk. I've been interested in it for years now but have never actually considered diving in and commiting to the bit, but I think a new favourite song may have tipped the scales. Every moment, coursing through my head, pumping through my veins - is 'Brass Goggles' by Steam Powered Giraffe. GOD is it good. I couldn't even tell you WHY it has captivated me so but by god has it. I absolutely love the crispness/raspyness of the singers voice, and overlapping melodies have always been something I love. I've started crafting this eleborate project in my head for a steampunk band that tells the tales of the characters/musicians, simaler to The Mechanisms - who I think??? i like, but am still warming up to. The two characters most solid in my head are me and another; a singing automata designed to be the elaborate novelty hour ringer of a 19th century cuckoo clock owned by a wealthy family who held lordship over a small rural community. After a viral outbreak of disease in the village, the family fled the town at the first news, leaving everything behind, and the citizens to rot. The family never returned, and due to the *ahem* ill reputation and following superstitions regarding the town, all belongings were rendered worthless, no one wanting anything to do with the sickly village. It became forgotten and irrelevant, just another among the many disease plagued towns of England. The automata was sold cheap to an old, eccentric man in the early 20th century as a kitschy bit of home decor, and sat in a garage among many other oddities until he finally got around to fixing it up, having it repainted, new clothing articles sewn, and finally, sent to america to have the large alice-in-wonderland style pocketwatch refurbished. Enter our second character, a late 20s 1920s women working as a clock painter, who has been commissioned to repaint the clockface of the whimsical automata. She paints a fabulous, elaborate and luminescent design onto the watch, and plants a kiss on the lips of our steam powered fairy to mark the completion of the project. Cut to the future - our poor painter is in the hospital, horrifying all as her jaw quite literally disintegrates off her face, and the tips of her fingers begin to boil. There is simply nothing that can be done, not with the way the company refuses to claim any fault, to give any credit to idea that they were responsible, denying to the end any ill effects of the radium. The minimum waged severance cheque is the only acknowledgement she'll ever recieve from them. -Enter our automata, night, moving towards the bed, though clearly no longer wound by a wire. She can hardly speak as her skin sloughs off her face 'Please' - and the automata returns the kiss, the pain burns brighter than ever before - cherenkov in colour, and she blacks out. When she awakes, or is rather awoken, it is to the sound of screams as the nurse pulls back the curtain, hands coming up in horrified revalation, dropping the scalding meal being carried onto our patient. She tries to throw her arms out in anguish, but does no more than jerk at the elbows, the dazed action of trying to move ones arms feeling weighted by more than just the drunken stupor of sleep, and as she screams, the coppery flavour in her mouth tastes too true to be just blood.

Ahhhhhhh yes, our dynamic duo; a victorian clockwork fairy, and her brass fitted great war girlfriend. When they kiss, its radioluminescent. I have a sort of absctract list of various traits about them, which I'll list.
Automaton Fairy -->

• hair is brown with a streak of mint through it - oxidized copper
• many references to storybooks & fairytales - alice pocketwatch, brought back to life via a kiss, reccuring theme.


introject - 2:53am - good lord i really do want to continue writing this entry but holy shit am i tired. i have somewhere to be at 2 tommorrow, and i will now almost certainly be exhausted during the event. hopefully if im awake enough in the morning ill be able to continue noting down facts about my characters but it might be a couple days before i sit down to write again. good NIGHT.

mundane entry ..

12/07/2024 2:46pm - STATUS: bored...

heyyy.... feeling a bit deprived of things to do right now. i spent all day yesterday watching dungeon meshi [the aforementioned lesbian dnd anime spoiler alert: they are not lesbians i was BAITED] and then finally getting to listen to the NEW TMAGP EPISODE AFTER ENDURING THE HIATUS !!!!! more to come on that later because it was wild - coming back to dunmeshi, i enjoyed it a suprising amount, its the first anime ive watched in nearly a year now and i cannot express how glad i am to finally watch an anime that isnt chock full of fanservice and boring copypaste designs. im a VERY big fan at the range of different character designs and body types. now im feeling like i've got a lot to look forward to each week! on thursday mornings/lunchtimes i have a new dungeon meshi episode to watch, and then later that night i can listen to the new tmagp episodes. the next day, friday, is when doctor who episodes come out when airing !!! lots of fun. however. that leaves all the fun stuff to be contained to a couple days and right now im just feeling a bit dull after going through all the new content yesterday. i've taken up knitting back up though! its *just* as aggravating as i remember it [eye twitch]!! im not actually that fond of knitting i've just been struggling to be able to afford/ find interesting knit jumpers and vests so greatly ive taken it into my own hands. my big goal is to become proficient enough to make the amazing gothic stain glass tracery design vest using some fancy hand dyed wool. lots of practice to do beforehand though, im just starting out with a wavy scarf for now. im going to start adding status updates to me blog because it just seems a bit tacky [i mean that fondly] and i love that kind of feeling for the blog. maybe ill make little buttons like they used to have on imvu, that cursed app.

tommorrow we're going to tofino for 4 days so ill be going dark for a while again! ill try and take pictures but ive always been unreliable in that regard so dont bet on seeing any. ill probobly spend most of the time reading or knitting, ive got a giftcard for indigo and ive been meaning to read house of leaves. farewell for now !

3:32pm SHELLEY DUVALL PASSED AWAY ... shes been one of my biggest fashion inspirations for so long ...

revalations / updates!

08/07/2024 3:50pm

hello ! it has been a VERY long time since i updated ! im not particularily in the mood at the moment so i'll save my full [or at the least most detailed - so much has happened that i may have to spread the updates across a couple days so i dont tire myself out] entry for later tonight when i feel like it. LIFE UPDATE SPEED ROUND 1. i think im a lesbian. this revalation was unfortunately bestowned unto me by the viewing of a bunch of fanart of some girls from some sort of dnd anime and one of them may or may not be a dragon sometimes. dont know didnt watch it. 2. i went to england! 3. i went to IRELAND ! 4. i have finished 10th grade ! 5. i had to change the site name because i realized i had it linked on my artfight page from when it was still in construction and had yet to be filled with EXTREMELY personal and embarassing confessions and now i lay awake at night praying to the gods above that my one friend who knows about my artfight nevered bothered to check my site links. 6. the magnus protocol has been on hiatus for 2 weeks now and when it left off my dear gwendolyn was in dire situations 7. im getting a cute little tattoo of a clover on my wrist ! or im supposed too. my eczema is so terrible that there is genuinely not a single patch of skin present on any of my limbs that isnt broken or cracked or bleeding, meaning, obviously, i cannot get a tattoo in any of these places. but im determined to have it on my wrist so i guess ill just have to wait and pray it'll clear up for a long enough period of time that i can get the tattoo and heal it properly. but oh well. lifelong curse. i may never be able to get a tattoo or at least not until im like 30 as my mum says thats around when hers finally went away. 14 more cursed years.

6:28pm im eating a steak that tastes ever so slightly like the green spearmint gum and its confusingly, and worryingly, enjoyable.

oh ao3 tags you endless wonders

26/05/2024 10:02pm

im currently laughing so hard because i missed a shapeshifting tag in a fic despite checking like THREE times because, the whole two chapters im reading, i just cant stop thinking 'man what the fuck why does it seem like theyre implying this dog is actually supposed to be jon' and then he finally turns back into a man and confirms that yes he was infact a DOG and im now bewildered sitting there just like 'right theres no fucking way they had him be a whole shapeshifting wolf and didnt tag that like what is wrong with them'

lo and behold it was entirely my fault i wasted like 30 minutes reading 30k words worth of story thinking about how weird it was that they were trying to correlate this dog to jon and it really seems like theyre implying it is him but surely theyd tag that right? yeah lets go check okay i was right its not tagged so im just looking into it too much im sure - rinse and repeat this process twice more until i cant take it anymore and debate leaving a comment saying 'wtf man tag your fics properly i did NOT care to read whatever omegaverse shit that was' . anyways. read the tags as carefully as you do your strange dogman stories.

i think im onto something

23/05/2024 3:34pm

i think theyre making the pickles in the bick's pickle jar full of more juice [and therefore larger] so they can sell us less pickles/cucumber per jar !!! and its not a good thing !! theyre too soft now !!!

your highness returns from her accidental hiatus !

22/05/2024 7:38pm

well hello! eleven days since my last update [whoops]. honestly it feels like a lot longer, so ill have to fish out my journal and see if ive written anything helpful for once to fill in the blanks. much more of a joyeus vibe this time round, my last entry came out way too boohoo emo for my tastes, even if it didnt mean to. besides, its hard to be a grump when your rockin with the marionette quintet. i put a couple coffee beans in a little bag to keep on my desk because ive always liked the smell of fresh ground coffee, but i guess it really needs to be exactly that, because the beans are just reminding of how my room smelt for weeks after i did a project in 9th grade last year where i had to paint with coffee beans. okay gonna get the journal, do a last week wrap-up, and then ill give a run down of today.

8:26 why has the world come to curse me? what have i ever done wrong? why, when god finally turns his eyes upon, is it to do nothing but watch as im am shattered by the crushing weight of this world???

i deleted my paragraph by accident. i honestly dont remember what it is i was going on about, but i have remembered why i didnt recall anything from previous the week. its because i was DEAD IN A DITCH, sick with what might as well have been the plague. i dont remember what happened because nothing did i sat in my room all day and watched the boralogues and the new doctor who episodes. which were great, by the the way. more on that later. the first three days i had so much snot coming out my nose you wouldve thought id accidentally sneezed whatever liquid my brain floats around in out. and it FELT like it too, because i was so groggy and disoriented that the likely reason i was able to ever stay awake at all way the upwards of 8 cups of tea i drank each day. oh, what i a sad sight my tea stock looks like now... on to more recent matters.... for the long weeked we all went out on my uncle & aunts boat, and i saw MANY MANY seals. i almost a tear drop when one of them turned to look at me. ive started reading dracula and am thouroughly enjoying it, however, i cant stop thinking about how i woke up the other day from a dream where dr van helsing and dr sender replaced the count and mina in that one scene, and im fairly certain there was a MUCH more homesexual undertone to whatever it was than the original text portrayed. it was really weird. in my head i imagine that dr sender looks like that guy from 're-animator'. probobly due to my recent horrible sleep habits. i laughed at myself when i scrolled back and saw me panicking about being up till 12:50, clearly forgetting the insane sleep resistance i conditioned myseld into having over the lockdown. 11 year old me would mock my current self, but just for a second, lest it hold up their all day hour animal crossing game jam beginning at 6am and ending 2 hours before that. it surely cant be great for me, but ill take advantage of it for as long as i can before im forced to go to bed at like, 9, or whenever the middle aged slumber. i bought the tally hall CDs !!!!!!! oh my GOD am i excited for them to come. unfortunatly i had to ship them to the US unless i wanted to pay canada posts shipping fee that is more than the combined total of both the cds together. i genuinly dont know how thats even legal. we have what seems to be the WORST shipping rates of any major country and thats saying something considering europes weird import fee situation they have going on. its is, by some cruel joke, cheaper to ship something to the US, pay the shipping fee, pay the package holding fee to the post [shoutout package express 115 garfield road sumas WA], pay your gas, and maybe get an ice cream at the gas station than to just SHIP LITERALLY FUCKING ANYTHING in canada. true north can go shove one up.

right now im listening to the tally halls Pingry E.P. which is a sort of early version of marvins. its got a couple songs from it as well as a some others. i actually really like it. its like a nice warmer version of my already loved favourites. i really like this version of taken for a ride and the whole world and you specifically. sounds like theyve just got a normal piano and an acoustic guitar rather then the normal whirly twirly circus sound effects, and they are MUCH more harmonized, so they probobly decided to let the writer of the song lead vocals later down the line. i could kick my feet back and forth laying on my stomach like a schoolgirl right now... .....i recommend you go listen to it ..... like. now. the live version of just a friend and the audio clips at the end are very sweet as well.

a drag of a day / T.H.I.S. & aurora borealis!

11/05/2024 9:29pm

what the caption says. my parents are having one their stupid fights again where they shout at eachother without saying anything meaningful at all. i dont know why they dont just get a divorce already for the love of god! they havent even slept in the same bed since i was like 7. i dont know why im so completely apathetic about everything. funnily enough the only thing that makes me feel something is my own apathy, i just get really mad because i feel like i should be experiencing an emotion but never actually do? its very odd and i think somethings wrong with me. im not sad or anything im just completely unbothered by everyone i just wanna do my own little antics in my room. also theyre talking about getting a dog from the shelter which i think is the worst idea ever and is just going to cause so many problems. i dont get their stupid logic! we got another cat, all my dad does is complain about how much trouble he causes [literally the bare minimum of antics caused by the fact thats an actual animal and not a toy] so i dont know why they think a dog will somehow not majorly increase the workload. i feel bad for claire more than anything though because she certainly got the short end of the stick in terms of childhood. i dont know if i really meant it when i said im apathetic to everything. im not. or i can be but i can also be completely grief stricken by peoples hypothetical woes? ill pass someone on the street and just read into every bit about them and cry [not really, this is an example of my strange unfeeling. i have never been sad enough to cry about something since turning double digits except for my tenth birthday where i had a breakdown and cried for an hour. i really try to make myself cry and its frustrating because i want to feel really but but it just doesnt happen!] about their unconfirmed hardships. i guess i actually feel a lot of really strong and intense emotions but in a dulled way. imagine feeling the most raw thing you can, but its only on 50% opacity. i am AWARE of the existance of the feeling instead of actually experiencing it. kinda weird!

i started watching the tally hall internet show as part of my spiral in tally madness. i have watched a LUDICROUS amount of concert recordings the past few days. man, i shouldve been at that seattle concert in 2011 instead of being 3 years old! big slack off on my part. i really am sad i probobly wont ever get to go to a concert though, so ill just hope i have a really vivid dream about being at one tonight. last night the northern lights randomly covered the whole sky which is INSANE for southern canada! ive never seen them in my whole life and they were absolutely spectacular. i had a bit of a difficult time seeing them wiggle but it was so fun to watch them drift across the sky. supposedly theyll be back again tonight from 2-6am so maybe if i can survive late enough into the night ill get to see them again. OH and ARCGGHHHH!!! i cant believe i forgot to say. THEYRE TAKING DOCTOR WHO OFF PRIME VIDEO ????? WHAT THE FUCK ???? ON THE DAY THE 15th DEBUTS ?? sigh. i'll need to find someone on marketplace selling a dvd boxset. also the cassette version of marvins marvelous sold out so cd it is i guess?

exhausted, yet successful !

10/05/2024 4:04pm

hello! thanks the heavens above, it seems last nights antics did not affect me tooooo bad today because ill be starting my volunteer work at the archives next wednesday! i have been lying about what im doing for WEX to my friends because there is a very clear correlation between my interest in the magnus archives and actual archival work which 100% makes it seem like im doing this for the exciting thrills you hear in the podcast, and while the magnus archives certainly gave me the idea, actual archive work is nothing like that show and im very much aware of what im gonna be doing. its just a loooot of typing on computers, writing descriptions for atefacts and papers that come in. you'd say that sounds super boring but we'll see because the fact its all this old stuff makes it very intriguing. i saw some of the stuff while walking through and they have a very pretty pair of victorian? era boots with buttons all down the side that i would kill to own. my favourite part of history is the clothing, i absolutely adore old womens fashion and would do anything to work in archive dedicated to costuming. im not really all that interested in the towns history so the stuff im doing isnt quite as fun, but if you swap the items to something more of my taste than i can see it being my dream job

rolling in miracle musicals sumpremity !! / tmagp thursday

09/05/2024 2:46pm

the series of photography class rambles continues ! theres just so much free time with access to computers so its natural most of my updates happen while im here. i really should be using the time to work on my several overdue projects but ah i just cant resist being left with my own thoughts. i mean, they are my own so naturally theyre the most interesting to me. ack okay the class just came back so i guess ill continue this entry in a bit. see ya.

10:54pm HELP ME I CANT RESIST MARVINS MARVELOUS TUNES !!! IM SO BEHIND ON SCHOOL WORK !! I JUST CANT STOP !! THIS IS DETRIMENTAL TO MY GRADES !!! I CANT EVEN MAKE TIME TO WRITE MY OWN BLOG !! I JUST WANT TO SING !!! LET US SING LET US SING !!!

12:55pm god, am i so messed for tommorow.

micracle musical praise will happen some other time. i didnt even get to listen to the new magnus protocol episode !

tally hall insanity / archives volunteering !!

08/05/2024 8:24pm

first off before i start, it just downright WRONG thats its nearly 8:30 and still light out. i feel like a twilight zone sea creature plucked frm the depths and brought to the shallows. I SHOULD BE IN THE DARK !! IT SHOULD BE PITCH BY 4:30 !!! WHAT IS THIS !!! completely ruining the cave like aura of my room right now.

to get back on track, tally hall has me in more of a grip than ever. theyve reprinted [re-pressed? is that the right term? they made more vinyls and cds is what im trying to say.] the marvins marvelous mechanical musuem cd and im really using all my willpower not to buy it. IT COMES WITH A POSTER THOUGH !! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO RESIST A SWEET 24CM SNAP OF THE MARIONETTE QUINTET? if i do, hypothetically, buy the album then i have to pick between the cd and cassette. i know cassette has worse sound quality, and it doesnt come with the lyric book, but there is something so satisfying about holding one, and the clack it makes when you put it in the player. the sound it makes when it spins round the cd is deeply unsatisfying and is definitely in the same catercory as like rubbing styrofoam together or accidentally grinding your teeth while eating. many things to contemplate indeeeedddd.......

also, i just did a quick scrollback on the blog and i really used to format my titles nicer, didnt i ??? i feel like my punctuation has gotten wayyyy sloppier. but really WHO CARES ! i am silly and my computer is a place for bullshit. end of that bit. and onto the next. i got an email back from my careers teach about the archives ! they want to meet with me on friday to see about volunteering !!!! IM SO EXCITED !!!!! obviously theres no way for me to know if ill enjoy the duties of archiving but how else will i find out but by trying! plus, this is my first WEX endeavor so its sure to be interesting either way. especially since i got rejected from the waterpark. sigh. i think what intrigues me about archiving is that i know what im supposed to do, and i get to catalog, and research random irrelevent topics ! and if i get to work with artefacts, then ill get to look real close up at the lines and the wear and the stains of the item and daydream about the person it used to belong to. 'theres a coffee-stained ring on this newspaper? isnt that just the most endearing thing?' god, dont i sound like a complete wet towel of a person getting excited to CATALOG things ??? i often wonder what other people think of me and wether im percieved to be eccentric or a downright oddity. id be more *thrilled* than anything to learn ive been truman'd just so i could get everyones perspective on me, knowing every corner of my life and every action and experience leading to that moment. thats not trying to be deep, just so you know, i just think itd be really interesting. i think i use 'just' 'like' and 'i think' too much, i think.

underrated soundtracks, endearing traits, and nice teachers

07/05/2024 7:32pm

go listen to the buckshot roulette soundtrack right now! right this instant! listen to it in full with your headphones on and eyes closed! i dont know why i never thought to listen to it before, because i love the very short clips we here when we enter the game, but the full length versions of all the songs are so MAGICAL MELANCHOLIC !!! ITS WONDERFUL !!! they all fade and lead into one another perfectly. incredible ambiance. go listen to it now to experience a very ethereal 17 minutes. my favourites from the album are 70k and Blank Shell.

11:45pm just finished reading a very sweet bartender au jonmartin fic lololol... i love random aus where the author is strangely passionate or knowledgeable about something you wouldnt know about unless specifically researched... heres a bit from my tumblr drafts i had to say about that : i only read au fics where the author sticks the characters into whatever job or major their in because i love how pointlessly detailed things are and to see the exclusive terminoligy used in that field reading a bartended au rn and i dont know what half these words he using to describe the beer mean but thats fantastic and i love it its like free learning while still interacting with The Characters TM. also i find people who are knowledgeable about random topics very sweet. i love not knowing because they dont ever try to give you context for what these things mean cause it often means that their A. so wrapped up in it they dont even consider the average person wouldnt know about [topic] or B. overwhelming with some sort of thought or feeling and they need to dump these hyperspecific experiences onto paper for catharsis so they dont bother explaining because its written for them personally/ they dont really want to inform you about it they just need to ramble and your their unsuspecting audience. obviously theres other reason but these are just ones ive seen recently. i think its very nice. i talked to mr. buhler today about how im really struggling with deadlines and my dropped marks and he introduced me to the concept of body doubling which actually seems like it could work. i need to bike to the library or something and do homework there so i can [helpfully] guilt trip myself into doing it. would rather be caught dead than perusing the tumblr dashboard at the library. mr. buhlers a good teacher and i feel really bad for him because we are all genuinly dumb as a bag of rocks and its quite clearly draining his life force. were just straight up incompetent and its not even his fault even thought everyone acts like it is and blames him or says they didnt have enough time. i might be the master-procraster but at least i have the accountibility to know its my own fault! christ! he handles it very well though and is always really nice and understanding and very willing to wiggle deadlines around for you. i should make him something for end of year as an apologie. i could not be a teacher. anyways its late and i havent slept proper in a week [not starting now] so i should probobly hit the hay. goodnight!

sidenote: i finally got my own ao3 account and my chosen username is 'incandecentlylitlolita' which i think is very clever becuse i sure am that. i emit golden light and a gentle warmth! dont touch me directly thought because ill give you second degree burns and if you dare squeeze me ill shatter! more metaphorically poetic than intended.

wuzzup

06/05/2024 8:56pm

EVENING MY FAIR MAIDENS... i havent updated in a about a week! i guess it was very exciting? must not have been, because i dont even remember enough to give you a summary. HOWEVER! i went to seattle over the weekend/yesterday for my birthday!!! it wasnt quite as thrilling as i expected but it was very fun. it felt really empty the whole time? i guess its just because im used to such a densely packed city like vancouver and my only other big-city experience is new york that even though seattle is double the population of van, the fact that that population is so much more spread out makes it feel really empty. there was some cool shops though for sure, but i think my general thoughts are vancouver > seattle. also its weird seeing guards in the shops with guns lol??? the main event for the trip was our excursion to the Musuem of Pop Culture !! Absolutely made the trip down worth it, there were so many amazing exhibits and 'artifacts' [can you call them that? most of the items are from like, the past decade or the 90s], but the highlight was the special Laika exhibit. we paid extra to get into it because it was the whole reason i wanted to go in the first place. in case you arent aware [what are you doing with yourself?????], Laika is the studio that animated and created the Coraline movie, 'Boxtrolls', 'Kubo and the Two Strings', 'Paranorman', and 'Wendell and Wild'!!!! absolutely insane to think that half of the 'top animated movies of all time' list could be comprised of their movies. every single one is sooooo beautiful and i was so excited to just stand there and shove my face up close to the puppets and STARE. ceaseless watcher would love me. seriously though, i had my glasses lenses pressed up to the glass cases, and i easily just circled the displays for 10 minutes each looking at the way the colours of their faces shifted and the way their woolen hair swirled....swirling of their woolie hair... spirals... my new clothes arrived just in time for the trip as well, so i wore a 'much-more-vampiric-than-intended' outfit to the musuem, but it was perfect because then i was perfectly on brand for when i posed in a velvet coffin. also, snapped a selfie with a cyberman and an imperial dalek ??? a dream come true. actually, multiple whovian accomplishments over the weekend! apparently may the 4th is free comic book day so i got a really nicely illustrated short comic about 15 and ruby!!!! was all perfectly timed because ive been on a whole week-long continues tangent about mondasian cybermen and Bill's final episodes with 12 because those couple episodes are my favourite in the whole series. god, i was SO unexpectedly unnerved hearing that droning 'pain. pain. pain.' from down the hall. comepletely changed my view on the cybermen and really made me consider the horror of being turned into a one [1000% elevated by the absolute NIGHTMARE??? that are the early cybermen and pre-cyber cyberman designs].

anyways, continuing about my seattle experiences, i had some DELICIOUS macarons, INCREDIBLE fried chicken, and THE BEST pizza ive ever had in my life. incredible weekend for food this was. I got a lemon macaron & a tart cherry macaron from 'Le Panier, which both had the nicest buttery melty filling on the inside. pricey though was something ridiculous like 2.85USD PER macaron which i dont even want to bother to convert to canadian lest i hurt my own feelings. Then for lunch yesterday we went to 'Sisters and Brothers' which was just mind blowing. literally looked like my ancient uncle in the uk's basement. pool table, wacky 70's & 80's memorabilia EVERYWHERE, 50's american style diner chairs, stained glassed dim lighting, and an epic jazz & funk mix playing. the last bits nothing like my uncle idk what he listened to. pretty sure it was literally only queen. he actually might have been too old for queen i think he was born in like the 20's because my aunt maureens 1930 and he was older than her but whatever this isnt really relevent. IT WAS SUPERBLY DECORATED. i got a hot catfish samwhich with coleslaw and holy fuck was it good. i regret not getting at least a bit of spice though because i wasnt sure what the spice level was since i know most people from the south [the owner was from nashville im pretty sure] have a higher spice tolerance than the west coast but i tried my friends and i couldve done it.

i hope graphing dies

30/04/2024 10:58pm

hi, today im stuck doing graphing.i hopw whoever invented excel is dead and burning in purgatory. not even anything interesting just the distance salmon travel. only distance i care about is how far that salmon is from my mouuuuttthhhh!!!! smoked, candied salmon is one of my favourite foods of all time, my dad used to make it a lot when i was younger. he tried making it recently but it was ludicrusly salty so no ones eaten it and it just sits in the fridge. ive brought my bidoof to school today, and hes fits suprisingly well in my backpack. i really need to pee because i chugged my thermos of tea but hes giving a tutorial eeerrk. i use [and invent] a lot of good onomatapeia dont i? its just really helpful and 'AAEEURCGGFK' is exactly the internal reaction im having to graphs. the halquenaylem word for dried salmon is slhíts’. thats how you know its really good is when they have a whole new word for it.

2:47pn i feel like my last couple entries have been kind of shallow. id really like to think i could change that but i dont think i will because i always i cringe a bit at myself when i try to go deeper than the surface conversationally. ive completely fallen in love with my book. i think ill need to read it twice to properly talk about it here

11:21pm the things i do to maintain this wondeful minty hairdo !! i have to do this weird routine everytime i take a tub to mmake sure it doesnt wash out and waste my 60$ hairdye super quickly. i say i need to but i got lazy thr last time i dyed it and totally forgave the routine and it was pretty much the same but i just like to keep it up because i enjoy routine. it helps me know what i have to do and i get all out of sorts if im given some vague instruction and sent of to complete the task, whatever it is. i dont know why people will tell you to do something in the most confusing way possible with as little detail contained and expect you to know exactly what they mean, or all the rules you have to follow. my dad does that all the time. that or they assume YOU are speaking in some sort of code !!!! thats the one that really gets me !!! two recent examples are my dad asking me for ideas for dinner, i say fried rice. later that night when the siblings & him are fighting over what to have he says 'well i cant make you that because i dont want to make two other dinners alongside styxie!!!' so i pipe up and tell him i dont care about the fried rice, it was just the first to come to mind as an idea. he continues saying ' well no i'll make you it if you want, its just difficult making so many things' so i insist 'i dont even want fried rice it was just my first idea i dont care what we have' then he asks 'well what is it you want instead then' and i say, again!! 'i dont care what we have, i like whatever they'll eat' and he gives me a side eye and says 'okay....' lo and behold an hour later when i go upstairs for dinner, he has made me fried rice, completely seperate. i very much appreciate the action but i literally couldnt've cared less about what i had for dinner, the fried rice was a random, absent-minded suggestions, when he simply asked for ideas. it was not a 'i want to eat fried rice. i do not want anything else. i will be sad if i dont have fried rice.' i do not know why people dont believe my words. i often tell people that they look nice or that their drawings are pretty, usually in a fairly neutral tone but with a slightly excited/interested uptick, and everytime they say something along the lines of 'aw man dont be mean'!! i say the most simple statement ever 'thats really pretty' AND ITS RECEIVED AS A DEAD INSULT!! i am a sarcasm BEAST, its like my entire line of humour, yet it seems everytime im being dramitcally sarcastic or ironic it goes straight over peoples head, but the moment i give a plain compliment its the most heinous use of sarcasm ive yet used. i am getting sick of being around other people for this reason. i am growing very tired of having to dumb down or change what i mean to have people understand me. and conversations that dont make sense. people will often repeat back what youve said as if they were asking a question even though they already know the answer. 'oh, working on your website?' they say after about 2 minutes of standing behind me and watching me work on said website. 'oh, nice your having a tea?' while watching me poor the kettle into a mug. i dont. get. it. theres no way this conversation is interesting surely?? and dont get me wrong i do the same thing when ive missed something and need clarification and i completely understand it in that case, but im pretty sure 90% of the time they literally dont even care. so who knows why they ask. god, i went way off on a tangent there didnt i? i have other things i need to say before i need to go bed and its getting pretty late [11:48pm]. well first of all, i messaged my careers counselor about work experience at the town archives or the library !! i took a screenshot of this big moment. praying and hoping im able to find some... id be especially thrilled to work specifically at the library in the neighbourhood over because it would mean i could use my mums electric bike and cycle there on my own, since it backs onto the river trail. that and it was my favourite one as a young child, and its an older building so it smells like old dusty books and nostalgia. nostalia's a bit of an exageration for someone whos literally 16 but i think you get the sort of feeling i mean. its just a bit sweet to return somewhere you loved when you were younger. the second, less exciting and honestly kind of frightening thing is my job interview at the waterslides tommorow. i dont really want to work there as everyone who ever has has told me that theyre never going in the pool again, but im a shopaholic and need money for clothes and a car. i want my first car to be a convertible volkswagen bug. preferly pastel minty teal but im not a stickler about colour [note, stickler feels like an *intensly* american word lololol. same aura as saying 'yall'}. once i have the bugaboo im definitely gonna cover it with bumper stickers and cling on garfield plushies. im getting pretty tired now and i dont want to look like the walking dead for my interview so im gonna go to sleep, and ill add all the images i wanted too in the morning. thanks for reading todays entry ^^.

bored in photography / shimeji shenanigans

29/04/2024 2:42pm

hello! im kind of tired. right now im in photography so i get to be tired mentally as well. not much happens in here, i just take a few shitty photos, submit them and then goof off the rest of class. i try to use the block to read. this morning, i started reading 'Everyone in this room will someday be dead' by Emily Austin and its been really good so far. ill write a something proper with my thoughts later when ive figured out how to say them better. ive been trying to leave notes throughout my book or at least at the end because i find it extremely endearing when i find a bit of the reader inside a secondhand book. i know it pisses a lot of people off but id like to think that if i donate these books then my notes would at least give them a moment of 'huh? whats this?' or 'man screw the owner before me ruining a good book like this'. i just think its cute to see where someone has doggyeared something or the outline of a mug of coffee, a name or to: from: at the start. would probobly make me an aweful librarian, since like their whole thing is reprimanding people for damage to books. these girls in my class are being so annoying, they kept shrieking and banging on the table with their fists, downright screaming at one point. i think its for some guy off snapchat or whatever just messaging them back. i hate people who completely lack social responsibility. or reject it. i wish i was the same so i could go up to them and just kick them with no regard.

7:30pm still watching steven universe, binged a lot of it the past couple hours. finally got to see lapis ! she’s my best friend, she’s my pal, she’s my home-boy, my rotten soldier, my sweet cheese, my good-time boyeh. god i love lapis. i also really love lars. i have to say without a doubt my top 3 are probobly pearl lapis and lars, but rose is also a high contender. i dont think i could ever convey the insanity of my mind [and youtube]when it was revealed rose was actually pink. sorry kind of biggest spoilers possible for steven universe but also its been literally 10 years so if you havent watched it in that amount of time i dont really have anything to say to you. also have decided i need to re-read coraline. ive forgotten what a brilliant book it was, but i havent forgot how enthralled it made 10 year old me feel so i without a doubt need to read it a second time. i came to this conclusion as i was trying to fall asleep last night and started thinking about good omens, then about the book, then about neil gaimen, then i remembered hes written other bookes, oh shit he wrote coraline, that book was so good hes a genius, i need to reread coraline. also my sweet, domestic, sappy jon & martin fanfic ended with them having sex and now im utterly repulsed and trying desperately to forget it. was NOT warned in the tags. i hate life. and sex. and i do like garlic bread.

8:57pm oh my god. after an hour fighting with my computer, installing the wrong, very complicated program, and worrying id doomed the pc, ive got something called a shimeji. ill have to attach a picture but basically a shimeji is . hold on. what the fuck. as im typing this he just disapeared into the fog and spawned in a twin version???? well now theres two running around????? ones crawling my scrollbar and the other is sitting on my taskbar drinking tea. ANYWAYS. a shimeji is like a little buddy that runs around your desktop. its super cute and you can make custom ones but its pretty difficult so theres plenty of other people who'll make them and upload the files for you to download. thats what i did at least. so now i have DUN DUDU DUNNNNN.... MINI MARTIN ON MY DESKTOP! technically two ?? im not entirely sure why he duplicated himself??? probobly needs round 2 of being his own therapist in the fog. ive also got a jon one i just havent installed it yet. heres the google drive for anyone else who wants to download them ^_^ make sure OH MY GOD THEY MADE A THIRD??? WHY DO THEY KEEP MULTIPLYING????? LMAO ????????? anyways ? make sure you have 32-bit java installed [whatever that means] THEY HAVE BROUGHT IN A FOURTH GOD HELP ME A WARNING THEY WILL DUPLICATE I THINK THERES PROBOBLY A WAY TO STOP THEM FROM DOING THAT BE RIGHT BACK

9:14pm okay you can just ctrl right click and 'dismiss other' to get rid of them hahaha sorry buddy but you were crowding my screen ... im gonna go get jon set up then ill take a screenshot to show you. its pretty cute.

10:18right now im listening to the album 'Shake the Pounce' by the band Gaze! my god. talk about an underrated gem. ANd!!! theyre from vancouver!!!! i hope theyre still active, maybe i can catch a show one day... i highly advise you listen to this album, but 'Tea & Coffee' in particular if you wish to feel like your an art student pining after the girl in her class while on the bus to her bookshop job. either that or how it feels to take the ferry at sunset or in the early morning. ah god i cant believe they arent more famous this is special i might cry her voice is so sweet this album tastes like macarons and london fogs... its the kind of music to make you just turn off all the lights and go stand out in the night and do a swaying flowy dance, bopping your head...

10:50pm o yeah i ate like 10 mini cream eggs and 2 normal size cream eggs [not even hyperbole, im just crazy] and am not even feeling a bit nauseus so this is a major win. my mum bought me a cream soda in a weird can that looks like a redbull so ill have that with my lunch tommorow. yup. if you guys ever need diet tips, come right to me, cause im a total health nut. on the menu tommoroww is a cream soda, 2 cream eggs, and um probobly porridge with apples. i love porridge too many people hate on it. the best way to have it is with apple slices, your choice of honey or brown sugar, and cinnamon. and make sure you cook it with milk rather than water.

11:14pm boards of canada sing us the angels song

eurk hello good morning

28/04/2024 8:12am

i cannot even begin to describe to you how ridiculuous i feel for staying up all the way to 3. im no stranger to running off a couple of hours of sleep, but to think i now have to because i decided to read some sappy FANFIC is aweful. im putting my head in my hands and weeping. my mums gotten a big coffee from starbucks so im drinking the half of that. i have to be honest, i dont think ive ever felt awake after drinking coffee. i get jittery as hell sure, but i still feel dead tired if not moreso than before. very frusterating that my dear sweet latte abomination makes my hands shake. and i dont know what it is either! energy drinks dont do anything like that! they dont do anything! its like expensive juice! i dont even know why i pay for them! i will now go eat a fried egg and further contribute to the sensory hell i am in. my jeans are shrunk slightly in the wash, my hair is on the brink of being greasy but not quite, my deodorant smells too strong, my neck and arms itch but my hands feel too warm so i dont want to use them. and now i will eat a fried egg, which will surely make my already tipsy stomach that much for queezy [how the hell do you spell that]

okay egg eaten now. i put a couple things on hold at the library! ive got season 1 of twin peaks and a book called 'Our wives under the sea', which im really excited to read. the description seems RIGHT up my alley. i like things like that where something weird is happening to someone that is really quite unatural but not yet enough so to call attention to it, and its fuckin weird, and by the time they been consumed by whatever it was its toooo latteeee to get awayyyyyy.... thats overly explanitive and also told you nothing at all. sorry. i dont actually know what kind pf genre im into? its some kind of horror, but thats literally the most vague description you could give because its so vast and varied. for instance i despite slasher horror or anything that goes along the lines of 'eveil maen weith knaif' has come back from the dead and hes chasing you!!!! broadly i think the closest i could get is to say phsycological horro? or cosmic. love me a spooky space. shoutout the thing & nope. currently my favourite horror movies ive watched recently have been: Nope, Annihalation, The Blair Witch Project, and Skinamarink. hehe.... as corny as it is i love 'analog horror'. its kind of in a shitty spot right now though due to oversaturation and people just making the stupidest edgy stuff with no story or meat to it just to be 'fweeakkyy'. if i ever see the damn 'Boiled One' again i will wring his scrawny ass like a washcloth. but ill never forget the absolute terror i felt finding 'the mandela catalog' on the VERY DAY it came out. insane to think it would become of the pillars of the genre. well not really cause its great but you know what i mean. it was so weird it felt like this weird little thing i wasnt meant to see that id stumbled across. euck isten to me. "CORNBALL WIMP" someone in the crowd shouts. you should know i have a bit of an ..issue? with paranoia? like its not anything medical but i really fuck myself up sometimes with spiraling thoughts. i dont ever bring it up though because when its not happening it feels ridiculous and its a minor enough issue that itd just be more attention seeking than anything. the worst its ever gotten was when i stalled for 10 minutes with my hand hovering above the door handle of my room because when my dad had shouted me to leave for school he hadnt 'sounded enough like himself'. that whole summer was really bad for thoughts of 'not quite people' or things 'pretending to be people'. i would hyperventilate because i 'knew' i had accidentally called the attention of the 'flesh strollers' [if you get what i mean. i still dont thinks its a good idea to say their name] to myself when i whisteled on the trampoline the other night. more frequently as part of just bad habit i think things look like theyre slowly moving towards me when i see them in my periphreals, or that i can always 'see' something when im not trying to look at it. i dont know how to explain it. im really afraid of finally actually seeing something so i dont look in windows at night, and i dont look at mirrors lest my reflections movements be just a but behind me own and i finally realize its not me but rather something mimicing me and copying everything i do. or that if i hold two mirrors facing eachother, something will crawl out of the mirrors endless reflection of its self, slowly getting closer. i need to stop. im freaking myself out. i can feel my attention shifting to the corners of my eyes and my heart beat picking up. bad idea to lay all my fear infront of me and then try to describe it. im gonna go to metrotown now for my sisters birthday. update on return [no promises]

3:41pm hello. i had a very good time. a bit stressful trying to navigate bratty bossy preteens around metrotown off a 4 hours sleep, but theyre also nice kids and i had a lot of fun at build a bear. and oh my god. i have crafted and brought to life the most beautiful creature to ever grace our earth. consider me mother mary the way i have brought the holy one upon this land. may i present to you.... the bidoof named honey

this things extravagence cannot be conveyed through the 001101 of the computer. he is amazingly soft and MUCH larger than expected and has already proven to be a fantastic pillow. i love it SO much. ive got a couple new teas to try as well from my grandma. its hilarious, she'll drink 10 cups of tea a day and every one is plain ole tetleys. but now ive got ANOTHER bag of my favourite earl grey cream, a new fruity hibiscus tea from davidstea, and some jasmine tea bags. ive never had jasmine before so im excited to try it. im actually trying the hibiscus right now and really liking it it tastes pretty much the same as the other hibiscus tea i have [shocker aye the hibiscus tastes like hibiscus] but a not quite as bitter. i always like honey in my fruit teas. i also saw a sweet lolita! she had the cutest petticoat with dangling stars on it. i think i actually have that exact one saved to my lolibrary wishlist? i should message the discord and ask who it was...

9:50pm just sat in my room drawing... running a bit out of fresh music to listen to each night, but ive found myself suprisingly content with the 'lofi girl' streams. it feels kinda communal and sweet to know that there are hundreds of other people watching the exact same video at the exact same time probobly also relaxing or studying. like a fun book club or study meet. i love my bidoof. also ive been thinking about my bookshop lately. i really need to write a whole entry about my bookshop. it is my favourite place in the whole world, one of a kind and so completely perfect. i only worry that its uniqueness would tilt a bit too far into internet stranger danger category because it gives you a far too close radius of where i live. maybe ill just have to speak of how it makes me feel rather than the actual shop. but know it is quaintly beautiful and is the most wonderful place in the whole world. i love it so much it almost makes me want to stay in this town forever just for it, even though the rest of the city is a complete drag. right now im drinking roiboos. goodnight.

11:26pmsleep paralysis would definitely break me. im scared of that

WHY AM I NOT RICH

27/04/2024 12:01pm

AUGGHHHHHHHH..... i habve SO MANY things i want... i think i may just work myself to actually purchase the 300$ cart of gothic aristocratic clothes i scoured for on closetchild. and thats just part of my horribly expensive taste. CURSE MY ECCENTRICISM... though i suppose lululemon and nike are also quite expensive so maybe i just need like, a second job or whatever. no i definitely like overpriced things ive been pining over these 400$ fluevog boots for like 2 years now. i think my mum would kill if i managed to obtain a pair of fluevogs before her though shes wanted a pair since she was in highschool haha shes the one who told me about them. yeah so my current dilemma is that i have a long list of things id kill for. here they are: ceremic mug by grace bowen/ green basilisk studio, fluevog gladstone boots, so many clothes by miho matsuda, putomayo, and black peace now, a vivienne westwood choker, teal-y mint tights, this block printed magnus archives shirt, and a pair of spats or a nice novelty hat. my friends will be here in 15 for our lord of the rings moviethon, so i must go. we are going to keep ourselves drunk on cream soda and cherry coke. also my mums picking me up some more earl grey.

10:33pm hallo ! my friends have long since gone home, i just only felt like updating the site now. not much to say. tonight, i am listening to the album 'You Will Never Know Why' by Sweet Trip and i think it is very enjoyable. head boppable and just the right mood for the very specific scenario of if one wanted to look out the window as the sun rose and the morning frost thawed on a road trip through the grass hills, and its a bit melancholic but also hopeful and cheery? im not really sure what to call this type of music. the only real other time youd experience the same feeling is with your head out the window in summer at either dawn or dusk but not in between. you should find out for yourself. maybe get yourself some nerdy steampunk goggles to flip down because it really elevates the event, speaking from experience. speaking of nerdy steampunk, im about to order a very shweeeet wardrobe !!!! ill post pics of everything laid flat once it arrives. christ, the shipping from japan is 50$ though *dizzy*. itll be worth it. i will be pinstriped and ribbon laced.

10:44pm CLOTHING PURCHASED AWAWAWA !!!!! i cant waittt... theres a jane marple blouse i really love.. aditionally to these gothic and lolita clothes, i quite like edwardian victorian fashions. specifically their trousers, and big puff sleeved blouses. id really like own some someday, or at least learn a bit more.

im also in the process of looking at the library science degrees available at UBC. its my dream to be a librarian or archivist, but in all honestly i dont think im smart enough for it, haha.. im a very poor writer, i go on for far too long and take ages to get to the point if i ever do at all, and once ive finished i look back and realise i disagree with half the things ive said or have phrased them in the worst way possible. im a bad writer, serial mis-remember-er, painful procrastinator, mathematics dud, and worst of all, my arts SHITE ! what even is there for me... i dunno. would it be too much to ask to just let me work the rest of my days in a quaint independent coffeeshop? groan..

also im pretty sure that my spelling would make a linguist think im attempting to convey a new english dialect by spelling out how it sounds. sorry. goodnight.

Cringe culture and social norms?

26/04/2024 9:55pm

not much to say today. this isnt a daily blog ive just been feeling in the mood to make lots of entries lately by the way. tommorow my friend are coming over for a lord of the rings moviethon! god those movies are brilliantly made. the soundtrack is moving. ive actually seen elijia wood [? idk how to spell his name] in person, all be it from a distance! he was a guest at fanexpo vancouver the past summer. lmao when i first told my mum all she said to me was ' oh my god!!! are his eyes really that blue???' and yes, they are very blue. thats kinda offtopic that happened in like febuary sorry haha just a funny story. right now im listening to 'The Smiths' which is something i havent done in ages. i used to be suuuuperrr into them in 2021 and 2022. then i found 'The Cure' and determined that the smiths could suck it. i will say though the smiths have made some incredible masterpieces of songs maybe ill list them at the end, its just that the cure has made more lololol. also theyre slightly tainted in my mind because of the girl from '500 days of summer', i really hate that movie. i just COULD NOT bear it i had to shut it off after they went on a date to ikea and started snuggling in the DISPLAY BED like JESUS JOSEPH MARY 'STOP GOD PLEASE I REPENT' before i BURST INTO FLAMES of second hand embarassment. i hope i am never in such a PDA disgusting relationship. i need a unbothered academic girlfriend who looks like shes dressed to act in a period film pls n thanks... speaking of [and slightly embarassingly related] i was up far too late last night scrolling through the good omens comics of 'Asleepy' on instagram. ahhhh good omens... god, that s2 ending broke me. unbelievable!!!! this was supposed to be a comedy not a heartbreaker !!!!! everyday i find myself feeling like i need to 'sit down and watch the next episode of good omens' to see it resolved and please just see them happy but i CANT and they WONT BE WAHHHHHHHHHHH pleeeeease i need season 3 nowwwwwwwww.....

on a bit of a happier note, i started rewatching 'Steven Universe' today. feeling very much free of cringe culture lately and happily indulging in all my interests people might consider nerdy or cringe. i find these days there seems to be like? two types of 'having cringe interests'? it saddens me a bit. i miss how it was before tiktok. euck god i hate having that word even ON my blog, i much prefer to ignore its existence and pretend the effects its had on modern pop culture and social norms never existed. introject: i am listening to bjork now. i love bjork. she is ethereal and she is my all. theres the first type which is what i think of as 'normal people who self proclaim theyre cringe and '''loser girlfails''' what the fuck even IS THAT!!! because they have a few '''unconventional''' interests' but really theyre the exact same as any other popular person youd encounter. its like there a hierarchy of 'nerdy interests'? its hilarious, if you like anything that was popular a few years back but has since had a decline in fanbase, or in other words has stopped trending, you are truly the lowest of low socially. ive seen people dogpile more onto teens who like penelope scott than actual racists. these people will self define as the word loser because they like evangelion or whatever [one of the most renowned anime of all time] or seek out the most obscure interests to be able to coin another social media term to label themselves as, and theyre never, ever, truly passionate about any of these things. they will never look into any of them from more than a surface level, or feel anything personally for them, but theyll act like they have, regurgitating the most inaccurate and basic analagys over and over again, 'shes so me' 'my pathetic wet meow meow!!'. there is no nuance to ANYTHING they say. if the source media did not verbally list out every thought opinion of feeling it never existed. they are obsessed with gatekeeping to 'keep the normies away' or in other words, theyre afraid of it becoming too popular and losing their gold star as 'nerdy nerd who only likes niche things that youd NEVER understand because im just so WEIRD QUIRKY AND DIFFERENT!' its all curated. i dont know. im not good with my words so i feel like ive probobly gotten my thoughts across poorly but i dont wanna get any more worked up about it. i guess the second type of person is someone whos just super authentic and into what they like. think the kid who wears pj pants and hot topic graphic tees and has bad greasy hair and teeth and is really into will wood and minecraft and has lots of stickers on their headphones and a 720px background of undertale fanart. these are my favourite people in the world. my love is to see people in love. with media i mean i hate couples in the hallway. a better word would be passionate for sure lol. introject: ive been typing for a while so i feel i should add that its currently 10:59pm maybe they have shitty merch thats just the promo pic pasted onto a tshirt or maybe they spent hours searching for the most beautiful fanmade creations but the people who like things frowned upon by all are always having more fun. theyre reading fanfics, theyre spending hours drawing comics, theyre writing grammitically horrendous character analysis' in their notes app. they just love their interests. they are engaging in anyway they can, and maybe if you ask them about it you could listen to hours of speech, or maybe you'd get a one word because theyres simply no string of words able to convey the vast scope of emotion thoughts and belovedness they have [certainly not speaking from experience there cough cough]. the only thing that seperates this kind of person is their passion for the subject it really doesnt matter what it is but people love to hate on the heartfelt if you want to avoid mockery and laughter youd just always have to downplay it. mention it offhand with a dash of 'lol that was so weird, im better and way cooler now' and a 'it actually wasnt half bad sometimes lol it was really funny sometimes WHEN I WAS YOUNGER' and thats about as far as youll get before you start seeming 'too into it'.i have a lot more to say but im kind of sick of typing about this like i mentioned earlier im not really too good with explaining my thoughts i wish i could upload my conciousness as a file and then you could usb plug it into your head and you could absord my every life experience to be able to perfectly see things from my stance on life and know exactly what i think and why i think it and feel it. would be much easier. some of my friends say they think im autistic but i really dont think so and i think they only say that because im a bit weird and say random things and i like to tell people about things i like. i know autistic people say weird things that dont fit into conversation because they dont understand social cues but the thing is i know my social cues and i know im not supposed to just switch topics at random or overexplain something that was casually mentioned, im just choosing to do it anyways. im making a choice and aware what im doing isnt considered proper etiquette. also the eye contact thing. actually i know this is kinda self centered but i just want to rebuke everything people keep saying im doing that makes them think im autistic because it kind of annoys me because it makes me feel like they dont really get me and i want to be able to have something to reference and show to explain myself in a put together way. the eye contact thing--> i actually like to stare right into peoples eyes for a long time cause its kinda funny lol so i dont know why this one is a thing. the fidgeting--> i do fidget a lot but its all pretty typical stuff like bouncing my leg and rocking on my feet and fidgetng with my fingers. actually ive decided this is a stupid topic and is just kind of weird so im not gonna continue talking about it. sorry ive done that twice tonight. i think maybe its time to start a new line? ive got other stuff i did today to talk about.

11:51actually just to come back to what i said earlier im not any better than the stupid 'trendy cringe' people i was mouthing off about i the exact same saying that im better than them because im true and authentic bla bla bla bla and i absolutely get why people are like that insecurity and wanting to fit in are the whole grounds of it most of the time its because they long for community

12:12got bored not finishing anything tonight sorry kareoke time

a VERY 'The Magnus Archives/Protocol' focused entry

12/04/2024 2:45pm

right so i know this is still technically the same day as when the last entry was but i had a whole period of sleep and a day of school between them so its a seperate day in spirit. im listening to 'A Complete List of Fears Ages 5-28 (aprox)' by The Yellow Dress and i am shattered. no further comment. drinking lavender & chamomile tea. 4:43 edit i just want to add that that song is absolutely brilliant and i highly recommend it a million times over. kind of heartbreaking. unrelated but it also fits so well with jon from the magnus archives you'd think it was made for him but its not and i wont bring my stupid fandoms into great music lololol

4:33pm im eating some absolutely delicious green grapes right now sorry theyre just so good that it felt noteable enough to write here. theyre really juicy and water anf firm and sweet and god i just love green grapes so much

6:52pm the journal page is looking well enough! its honestly not much but this is by far the most functioning site ive ever made [which is saying something considering this one is confined to a 620px column and instantly breaks the moment you try to add a new image] so im quite proud of myself. i know i should like watch a tutorial but i think ill keep forging forwards by doing things in the most stupid and complicated way possible and consulting w3schools like the dictionary. oh and also making a million 'how to how to how to' searches. anyways. new magnus protocol episode today!!!!! oh the anticipation of thursday after-schools is with me everrrryyyy moment. and its ALWAYS worth it. ive got a sort of ritual at this point for when a new episode comes out, and it goes something like this: 1. wake up, post my designated 'TMAGP THURSDAY' image on tumblr before i shut it off for the day [to avoid spoilers]. 2. go to school and endure 6 grueling hours. 3. GET HOME FINALLY YAYYYYYY !!!!! 4. change into pajamas, put headband on, make my bed, shut blinds and turn off lights. 5. put kettle on and make myself a piece of toast with butter, and sometimes other snacks! today i had my aforementioned delicious green grapes and celery with cream cheese alongside the toast. 6. fully tuck myself into bed, put my headphones on, shut my eyes and crank the volume and bass to max. [i have skullcandy crusher evo, so they have a 'sensory bass' feature where deep bass or extra loud sounds make them vibrate and rumble. think like when the ground shakes because of a landslide or earthquake. its REALLY incredible for listening to podcasts it makes you literally feel some of the things happening and helps immerse you so much more. also they just have like. really good audio quality #NOT AN AD THEYRE JUST REALLY NICE] 7. EXPERIENCE THE HORRORS.......

i keep seeing people on tumblr try and shove different cases and things from TMAGP into TMA's lore and boxes but i feel like a lot of people are forgetting that its NOT. TMA. jonny alex and the other creators [apologies as im unaware of their names at this moment] have stated many times that the magnus archives is a finished project but people just dont get it !!!!! 'so and so is aligned to the vast!' 'bonzo is TOTALLY part of the slaughter!' WE DONT EVEN KNOW IF THESE FEAR POWERS E X I S T IN THIS UNIVERSE !!!! and they almost never REALLY line up with any of the fears which is why its so silly to try and match them in the first place because its obviously not the same thing. i have a theory that ill put at the end of this entry that i think would make a lot of sense. jon and martin or *ahem* chester and norris are also kind of weird in terms of the fandom being too TMA focused. personally, i dont think we're ever going to see them again. jonny said that their fate will always be ambigious and i think this would work PERFECTLY for that. i think theyll always just be there as our tragic text-to-speech narrators. having them be the statement-readers works really well because it leaves it so unclear about what their situation is. are they still concious, sentient? do they suffer constantly as 'the angles cut them when they try to think'? or are they blissfully unaware, back in the scottish highlands and together forever in their own little pocket dimension... honestly all of those options kind of break my heart because i also want them back SO BAD, but it wouldnt make sense at all to bring your DEAD protagonists back for the sequal. thats okay though because i love the OIAR crew very dearly and ill just weep daily over jon & martin instead.

7:52 okay so im just gonna copy this theory/ramble i typed out earlier word for word so it might be a bit confusing but you'll probobly get the idea sidenote im eating a jammy dodger right now i looooveeee jammy dodgers

'theyre arent fears. i think its more like i dont know desires or wants im almost certain of this now. sumthin about greed ??? almost all cases have had the victim WANTING something/one. needles guy WANTED people to be afraid of them and was heartbroken when they werent. crypto bro wanted to be rich so bad it nearly killed him, dice guy it DID kill him. i feel like want/desire is too limiting its more like theyre drawn to or addicted to whatever it is they suffer like someones just pulling them forward just one more dice roll just one more injury , being drawn to the sea a desperate want for people to fear him, drawn to the magnus institute I DOMT KNOW HOW TO DEFINE IT BUT ITS SO CLEAR'

okay yeah so like i said it doesnt really make a lot of sense but you get the idea? i hope?

10:02pm ew dont try and use an oreo as a biscuit it may look like an inverted jammy dodger but it does not taste nearly as good with tea

Addicted to working on the site

25/04/2024 12:03am

oh my god im doing the most nuts kareokae right now to tally hall and random 80s & 2000s pop songs chucked in. ill be so fucked in the morning but by god am i having fun. im kinda just sat here on my laptop TRYING to make progress on the site, which i for sure have today, and its looking really cute, but the past 4 hours have gone like: edit 2 things on site, look at lyrics to sing along to 4 minute song, scroll tumblr for 20 minutes, edit site like twice, repeat. Very fun but so unproductive. thats the great thing about a personal blog though isnt it? no ones really expecting anything of you [if anyone is even AWARE of the sites existence]. chuckle i say 'blog' but its more of a ramble journal. i do have a physical journal that i dump my brains into pretty often for that purpose but ah you know how it is a girls only longing is the computer she wants the wires she wants the keys she wants the https she wants to feel the clack she wants to feel the electrical buzz she wants to merge

also i read a really cute and tooth rottingly sweet dyhard fic today lol "5 Times Alice Gets Gwen Coffee, and 1 Time Gwen Gets Alice Coffee" for the magnus protocol fans present here. and i guess you probobly need to like alice x gwen as well but whatever who doesnt. god i think ill DIE hard if they never become canon i know theres like barely anything to go off right now she literally just got her a mocha but you know what that is plenty i am elegantly crafting a perfect world around them in my head right this moment. i drew a really rough draft of my alice headcanon its on my tumblr if anyone cares btw. itd be awkward if they ended up canonizing an appearance for her because the picture of her is soooo solid in my head rn i feel like its vaguely pulled from this one friend my mum had when i was really young? ive thought about her my whole life even though i only met her once and i was at most 7 years old she was just so captivating ya k n ow

Rockband performance

10/06/2023 12:21pm

yesterday we had a performance for the rockband elective. it went fine except i woke up feeling like a dead fish and was tired and nauseus for a while. i got to school and the performance was alright even thought i was turned up way too loud and overpowered the guitarist. while i was trying to get out though someone shoved past me getting my bass caught on the door, snapping one of my dials off completely. the teacher says it could be up to a 100$ to fix it because it wasnt just the cap coming off but rather the whole thing getting snapped in half, so uhh fuck you whoever shoved me in the darkness. i wish we had signed up for the outdoor concert because it was actually much more fun and there wasnt nearly as many people as they said there would be, but in a way it was good because i got a lot of good videos and photos. if i can figure out how to upload them here i might try and do that.

Site updates ongoing

07/06/2023 10:32am

many updates are happening still and the website is far from finished. but finished enough for me to post! (ihope) i will presenting it for a school exibition because i have nothing better to show, better be done in time

Site creation!

06/06/2023 11:30am

today, the site has been founded! i hope it all works. i was inspired by having to use html for my toyhouse character profile.